When Life is Hard: Simple, Soulful Ways to Care for Yourself

Hey there, my considerate and mindful mamas (and other folks), 

I want you to know that, while I haven’t met you in person yet, you are still dear to my heart. I think of my readers often and send my love, especially to all of you who may be facing difficulties in life. 

I've been through many times in my life where I've had difficulties, such as stressful family situations and health issues. And, I've found certain practices to be helpful. So today, I want to talk about the one thing that I've found to be absolutely crucial to my greater well-being and learning how to thrive, especially when I've been in a particularly challenging situation. Whatever the tough circumstances are - health conditions, family tension, relationship stress, or burnout from work - this one thing is super important (barring an actual emergency of course). 

The Secret to Making Things as Best as Can be in Difficult Times

Take a deep breath – and care for yourself! 

Self-care during hard times can help you cope with the stress and burnout that comes with it. Doing all that you can to support mind-body healing and overall health is essential. Here’s a few words from my heart to yours on how to take care of yourself. 😊

Listen to What Your Body is Telling You

If you are experiencing health issues, this could be your body’s way of getting your attention. Your body could be saying, “It’s time to take a pause. I need a break to be nurtured. I require rhythms and routines that feed and rejuvenate me.” Life tends to get messy at times and sometimes we forget to prioritize ourselves. 

And, let’s talk about stress. Stress can wreak havoc in our lives if we let it - by not practicing good boundaries, routines such as getting adequate sleep, and learning better coping strategies. So, the number one thing that can help tremendously:  prioritize caring for yourself as much as you possibly can. 

I know it’s cliche, but these sayings are still very true:  

👉 “You can’t pour from an empty cup” - Fill your cup first, then you can pour your energy and care into others. 

👉 “Put the oxygen mask on yourself first” - Once you have what you need, you will be better equipped to serve others. 

Real Self-Care Looks Different for Everyone

For those of us who have a toxic work situation, family issues, or a rocky marriage, it’s imperative that we start caring for ourselves in the most optimal ways possible for each of us as individuals. Not everyone’s self-care looks the same. Don’t compare your self-care needs to others’ needs. What others do or need is not important. Just figure out the self-care routines that are right for you 😊

Not just a manicure … 

By self-care, I don’t mean things like getting a pedicure or having a spa day. Those can be delightful and can feel quite nurturing at times. Spa services can be part of a self-care plan if that is what your whole self is truly calling out for on that particular day. However, glamorous services don’t necessarily help us feel deeply cared for or heal our wounds. 

Optimal self-care is whatever your body, mind, and/or spirit needs from you at the moment. One example of good self-care is taking time to feel compassion for yourself when you are feeling down. Especially when your inner critic is extra loud. 

Quick check in time - How are you talking to yourself? 

Think about the words that typically go through your mind to and about yourself.  

Would you say those same words to a friend?  

Would a kind friend say them to you?  

If not, then why is it appropriate to say them to yourself? If you wouldn’t say them to a good friend, then perhaps think twice about telling them to yourself. Are those really helpful words? Or, are they possibly harming you in small ways? 

Negative self-talk can be really destructive, especially over time when it becomes a habit. Instead, feed your mind more nutritious food. We should be building up ourselves and others. No need to tear ourselves down as that will only hinder us from optimal health and being our best, most amazing selves in the long run. 

Self-compassion is a balm to your soul when you have been telling yourself negative things or being hard on yourself. It takes time to break the habit of mentally and emotionally beating yourself up. If you slip back into blasting yourself again, just stop midsentence and try to find better words. Contemplate why you may be using negative self-talk, have compassion for the part of you who was taught to speak like that, and choose kinder words now. If it happens again, just try again. 

Be purposeful with your words and actions. Changing your self-talk is a slow process of consciously and consistently choosing how you want to communicate to yourself. Be patient. Show yourself some compassion. And, don’t give up. 

Pro tip: Saying affirmations (with feeling) - while it may seem a little goofy at first - can help to train your brain to talk to yourself in ways that are more kind and growth-oriented. 

Be kind to yourself. Nurture yourself, and you may be surprised at how well you can flourish! 

The restorative and healing powers of peaceful solitude 

Another way you may be needing to care for yourself is giving yourself some time for seclusion. Are you okay with being alone sometimes? If not, the reasons for that might be something to contemplate about. 

I love being around my kids, friends, and meeting new people, but I also have realized over the last several years that I really need alone time as well. If I don’t get enough each day or each week, I can sometimes feel myself getting a bit edgy or cranky. It is a true need for me, so I try very hard to prioritize it and fit it in my day, each and every day. It doesn’t always happen, but it’s a priority. 

Side note: Some people also use this time to connect with God / Spirit / Love, their intuition, the Universe, their higher selves, Higher Consciousness, etc. Whatever your view on religion or spirituality happens to be, taking the time to connect with our inner self and look for the quiet voice of direction can be healing to our soul. 

Creative and artistic pursuits, even if you aren’t “creative” 

Another form of self-care is to journal, write a story, or create art with your hands like painting or making pottery. Some people really need a creative outlet, while others don’t always recognize the need or desire for it. Expressing yourself in art and other creative ways, even if you don’t think you are a good artist, is healing and expanding. And, there’s an added benefit: art can help to move our emotions through us. A surprise plus as well - it can help you learn when it’s time to step away and be okay with “good enough” for us recovering perfectionists 😊

Move your body and use your voice! 

Dancing and other body movement can help release pent up frustration, stress, sadness, and other heavy feelings. Singing can be really therapeutic as well. 

I would argue that spending time each day or at least a few times each week to do any or all these activities - journaling, dancing, singing and/or creating art, and even just being with yourself, can be ultra helpful in truly healing, coping, and thriving in our lives. We also are much better parents, spouses, and friends when we take good care of ourselves 🩷

Other tools, tactics, and activities for optimal well-being and healing

Other really important self-care activities for dealing with challenging situations and relationships are: exercise routines that incorporate aerobics and muscle strengthening, sleep, and connecting with others. Regarding exercise, please talk to your doctor before you start any exercise programs, especially if you are experiencing any health issues. 

Getting enough sleep is crucial to our overall wellness, dealing with stress, healing your body, mind, and spirit, and being and feeling your best. What’s enough sleep? Usually seven to eight hours is recommended, but everybody is different with different sleep needs, so it may take some experimenting to see how you feel and what your optimal sleep is like. Also, the amount of sleep we need may change over time and depend on what is going on with us at any particular time. 

Healthy connection and community 

Lastly, being in community and connecting with friends and family helps our overall well-being. Even us introverts and ambiverts need quality time with others. Connection - healthy connection - with others is so good for our body, mind, heart, and soul. 

Please join me in prioritizing taking really good care of ourselves, as often as necessary. I’m far from perfect at it. I’m still learning how to be more consistent about self-care, especially when life gets busy and curve balls show up. But, we don’t have to be perfect at anything. We can keep coming back to good habits regarding self-care as often as possible. 

Take good care of yourself. I’m here for you all. I’m thinking of you and sending nurturing vibes, kind thoughts, and love! 

Do you have any go-tos for self-care during rough times? 

What is something you can do to take better care of yourself today? 

Help add to the discussion and help others who may need to hear your kind thoughts. Post your self-care and self-compassion ideas below!

See you soon!

Much Love, 

Andrea 🩷 

P.S. This space is primarily intended for moms, but I welcome all who want a healthy space to connect and grow. There is plenty of room at the table for you 😊